Back in October of 2020 Oscar had tubes put in his ears in the hopes of correcting some of his conductive hearing loss.
The day of his procedure I was nervous (like any parent of any child going under a general anesthesia would be). Things had (have) been going so well and I was worried that something… anything…any shift from our “norm” could change that. Of course when the anesthesiologist came to talk to me about the procedure I burst into tears (just out of pure anxiety). And then I immediately judged myself for this reaction knowing that it was a very routine, quick procedure and that other children go through much much worse. He assured me that things would be okay.
Not long after the anesthesiologist left, Oscar’s ENT came to review the specifics of the procedure and the recovery protocol. In her opinion, there was no need to avoid exposure to water in Oscar’s ears because only 20% of children have an adverse reaction. (If your child is having this procedure done go by your ENT’s protocol!). Then she said, “but I understand that you are used to dealing with small percentages, so if you feel more comfortable you can avoid water in his ears for 6 weeks.”
Wow… she “got it”! She understood that I may perceive the world differently. She understood that I am the mother of a child who had a 1/5,000 chance of having his genetic deletion. She understood that I know that 1/5,000 is possible so of course 20/100 is possible. She understood that I may tolerate less risk. She understood that I am used to “dealing with small percentages.”
Then the judgement that I had felt towards myself following my discussion with the anesthesiologist went away because I was reminded of the fact that I am a different kind of mom. I am a mom who has dealt with small percentages with my own health and now with my child’s health. I am different and it felt really nice to have someone recognize that my needs as a mom may also be different and to accommodate those differences.