Entry Forty Four- February 10th

Everyone has special dates that stick out in their minds. For me of course those dates include birthdays and anniversaries but a new date was added to my “special dates” and that is February 10th. Feb 10, 2019 was the date of Oscar’s last seizure. I remember everything about that day. February 10, 2019 wasContinue reading “Entry Forty Four- February 10th”

Entry Forty Three- Panic Attacks

I had never had a panic attack before Oscar. If you have never had one, I will try to explain what they feel like to me. To me, it feels like I have lost control of my body and it is a conscious challenge to regain that control. I have experienced several. The last oneContinue reading “Entry Forty Three- Panic Attacks”

Entry Forty Two- I Encourage You To Write

I used to speak to my social worker weekly, then biweekly, and I now probably every other month. I still cry for varying lengths of time during every session but I do feel lighter after, like a bit of my worry is gone. “Silence reinforces the godforsaken isolation of trauma” (Bessel Van Der Kolk) IContinue reading “Entry Forty Two- I Encourage You To Write”

Entry Forty One- Humbled

It is so easy for me to sit in my own worries. I am humbled as I learn of other people’s experiences. I went to the hospital for an outpatient neurology visit last week. At this time, I truly have nothing to complain about. Oscar has been developing in a really positive trajectory and weContinue reading “Entry Forty One- Humbled”

Entry Thirty Nine- Start Where You Are

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe Nobody starts off in the same place. And nobody finishes at the same destination. My son has a genetic deletion meaning that he is missing genetic information. He didn’t get to start his little life at the same place asContinue reading “Entry Thirty Nine- Start Where You Are”

Entry Thirty Eight- My “Special” Bond

I think that I now understand why parents of children who have special needs have a special bond with that child. At least I have come to understand my bond with Oscar. When I say that I have a special bond with Oscar, I should say that I have a very special bond with bothContinue reading “Entry Thirty Eight- My “Special” Bond”

Entry Thirty Seven- A Beautiful Story

In April of 2019 my son was taken via ambulance to the closest pediatric hospital because he was having difficulty breathing. He was 6 months old at that time. It felt like things were spiraling out of control that day. I remember that I had taken him to the walk-in clinic because he seemed toContinue reading “Entry Thirty Seven- A Beautiful Story”

Entry Twenty Seven- By Two

We so happily celebrated Oscar’s second birthday last week. I have heard that some parents find their child’s birthday a stark reminder of the widening gap between their child and a typically developing child. I am finding this to be true. When your child is young, it is easier to “hide” their delays. As theyContinue reading “Entry Twenty Seven- By Two”